Ah, the 1980s—a decade known for its “bold” style, big hair, and, well, some seriously questionable car designs. While the era did deliver some iconic rides, it also brought us a lineup of cars that might just make you scratch your head in wonder.
Tthe ’80s really had it all. Whether it’s the weird, the wacky, or the downright ugly, we’ve got a collection that promises some good laughs and a lot of raised eyebrows. Here’s the 13 ugliest cars of the 1980s.
Alfa Romeo Milano
Ever looked at the 1985 Alfa Romeo Milano and wondered, “What were they thinking?” Us too. It seems like Alfa might have started with plans for a larger car but then abruptly switched to a smaller design—perhaps the CAD software couldn’t handle the change and gave up.
The result? A car that looks like it’s still deciding what it wants to be when it grows up. The Milano’s proportions seem a bit off, kind of like it was shrunk in the wash.
Cadillac DeVille
The 1977 Cadillac models managed to downsize gracefully, maintaining their dignity. Fast forward to 1985, and it’s a different story. The DeVille became a shadow of its former self, reduced to a tiny, less distinguished version that was hard to differentiate from its Oldsmobile and Buick cousins. This was a time when Cadillac seemed to be losing its way, mirroring GM’s broader struggles with identity and quality.
Often, people blame the Cimarron for tarnishing Cadillac’s image, but the DeVille’s downsizing didn’t help, contributing heavily to the brand’s decline. It took a revamp in 1989 with a stretched wheelbase and improved proportions to start fixing these issues, but for many, the damage to Cadillac’s reputation had already been set in stone—or should we say, in metal.
Lincoln Mark VII
The Lincoln Mark VII, particularly the LSC model, might trick you into thinking it’s a Mustang GT in disguise—and you wouldn’t be far off. It had solid performance stats, thanks to its shared lineage, but let’s just say the style wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
The Mark VII came with generous, shiny overhangs that seemed more about flash than function. While the LSC versions delivered speed and a bit of swagger, the standard models left much to be desired, lacking any real standout features aside from their awkward attempt at luxury.
Zimmer Quicksilver
The Zimmer Quicksilver is a tale of ambition turned to excess. Zimmer took the concept of “neo-classic” cars to an extreme by adding old-fashioned styling to modern chassis. Their biggest misstep? The Quicksilver.
Imagine starting with a Pontiac Fiero, stretching its wheelbase by 15 inches to create a ludicrously long front end that served no purpose but to deceive. Despite its grandiose hood, reminiscent of the big-engine days, it packed just a modest V-6—ironically placed behind the passenger seat. Maintaining the Fiero’s pop-up headlights added to its disjointed appearance.
Priced at about $50,000—yep, the same as a contemporary Mercedes 500 SEL—the Quicksilver was more about show than substance, making one wonder if the investment might have been better spent… literally on anything else.
Monte Carlo Aerocoupe
The 1986 Monte Carlo Aerocoupe was Chevrolet’s answer to losing against Ford’s more aerodynamic Thunderbird in NASCAR. Chevy’s solution? A design overhaul that involved slapping on a sleeker rear window to cut through air better. The catch? They had to sell at least 200 to the public to qualify it for racing.
The result was, frankly, a bit of an eyesore. The new rear glass exaggerated the already excessive front overhangs, making it look ungainly. And instead of a full hatchback redesign, GM opted for a small trunk lid, which barely allowed any substantial storage unless you were planning to flatten your luggage first.
Ford Tempo
The Ford Tempo was a car that tried to usher in a new era of aerodynamic design but stumbled right out of the gate. Initially meant to feature sleek, European-style flush-mounted headlights, the Tempo had to settle for old-school square sealed-beams housed in chrome due to regulatory delays—hardly the cutting edge look Ford hoped for.
It wasn’t until 1986 that the intended headlights made their debut. But just as one problem was fixed, another arose: by 1988, Ford had redesigned the sedan’s rear into a blocky, unattractive mess. While the coupe version managed to sidestep this aesthetic screwup and even looked pretty nice, its beauty was only skin deep.
Underneath lay a crude engine—basically Ford’s old straight-six with two cylinders removed—and a suspension system that left much to be desired.
AMC Eagle Kammback
Imagine taking an old AMC Gremlin, beefing it up into a 4×4, and then calling it a day—that’s pretty much the story of the 1981 AMC Eagle Kammback. Back in the late ’70s, AMC wasn’t exactly flush with cash or fresh ideas, but they did have the Jeep division and some serious off-road chops. They leveraged this to create the Eagle line, a pioneer in the crossover world.
The Kammback was the budget-friendly end of this lineup, using the Gremlin’s (or let’s say, the Spirit’s) body as a starting point. With only 5,603 finding owners, it was clear they might have stretched the concept a bit too thin. The Kammback was rarely shown from the rear in promotional materials—probably to avoid revealing its true Gremlin heritage. Clever marketing, indeed, but even that couldn’t make this thing a hit.
Fiat Panda
When Fiat rolled out the Panda, their idea was simple: a no-frills, back-to-basics economy car. But boy, did they take “basic” to a new level. With its straight-edge sheet metal, unpainted bumpers, and flat glass, the Panda looked more like something you’d issue to a prisoner rather than sell to a family.
The interior wasn’t any better. Picture a dashboard so bare, it featured a cloth-covered shelf with a tiny box for the speedometer and heater controls that looked like an afterthought. And the seats? They were as thin and unforgiving as pizza boxes.
Riding in a Panda felt more like trying to operate a forklift, minus the power or comfort. Despite this, Fiat managed to keep the Panda on the production line for a whopping twenty-three years.
Toyota Corolla Tercel
Ever seen a Toyota Corolla Tercel from 1980? This car was Toyota’s first venture into transverse-engine, front-wheel-drive territory, and it looked like the designers and engineers weren’t quite on the same page. The Tercel had what you might call a “docked tail,” which gives off a feeling that the car was chopped off a bit too soon. It’s as if the team was told to show off the compactness of the new powertrain layout but forgot which end was which.
The result? A car that looked cheaper and flimsier than it probably needed to, making you wonder just what was going on in those design meetings.
Excalibur Series IV
Ever heard of the Excalibur Series IV? It’s like someone tried to bring back the retro charm of the Mercedes-Benz SSK with a modern twist and… well, let’s just say it didn’t go as planned.
Launched in 1980 by Excalibur Motors, which itself started from the ashes of the Studebaker SS, this car featured a split windshield, squared-off backlight, and faux wire wheels. It might remind you of a vehicle that’s had too many questionable facelifts.
Not surprisingly, Excalibur faced bankruptcy in 1986, only to be resurrected several times until it finally bowed out in 2003. Sometimes, you have to wonder why some things keep coming back.
Ferrari Mondial
Think every Ferrari is a masterpiece? The 1980 Ferrari Mondial might just change your mind. Unlike its sleek and streamlined siblings, the Mondial is more like the awkward cousin at the family reunion—long, lumpy, and a bit out of place with its mid-engine layout squeezed next to a back seat.
And that nose, bent downward with slats that look more suited to a window treatment than a car grill, really doesn’t do it any favors. Legend has it, the Mondial was born from a dare gone wrong at Pininfarina. It’s hard to argue against that story when you see it in person!
Cadillac Seville
Have you ever seen the 1980 Cadillac Seville from the back? It’s pretty hard to miss with its “bustle-back” design, seemingly taking a nod from the more regal Daimler DS420 Limousine. This attempt at luxury might remind you of that old Billy Joel line about needing money to look truly… out of style.
But the style wasn’t the only questionable aspect, the Seville struggled under the hood too. Equipped with a lineup of less-than-reliable engines like the inadequate 4.1-liter V-8, a faulty Oldsmobile diesel, and the notoriously unreliable V-8-6-4, it’s a wonder this car kept its wheels spinning for as long as it did.
Chevrolet Citation
Then there’s the 1980 Chevrolet Citation, a car that was supposed to mirror the sleek, functional European hatchbacks but ended up as anything but. Imagine a car that looks like it’d rather be parked permanently on the driveway, maybe even doubling as a makeshift couch.
It was bulky, slow, and seemed to take a little too much pride in its ungainliness. The Citation’s design suggested a vehicle ready for a life of leisure, not reliability, often found more at the dealer’s for repairs than on the road. Just one look and you’d have to ask, “How did anyone think this was a good idea?”
More From The Bearded Bunch – 10 Muscle Cars That No One Wants Anymore
10 Muscle Cars That No One Wants Anymore
More From The Bearded Bunch – Hall of Shame: 25 Worst Pickup Trucks Ever Made
Hall of Shame: 25 Worst Pickup Trucks Ever Made
More From The Bearded Bunch – 14 Cars That Fall Apart After 100k Miles
